Get Out More!

I must say that I am halfway to my goal (slim-n-eight). I have to get a little more strict though. I can see that I'm starting to slip here and there. But I definitely feel more confident now, then when I started. I think by the end of June, I should be where I want to be. I have even started dancing again and playing some sporty activities. I am sure that all these efforts will work to see that I am "where I wanna be" - Donell Jones.

So I went out to the club yesterday - I've been telling myself that I have to get out more. You know MNO: Meet people, Network, Or just be seen! A way to get my business goals met and keep current with the crowd.
The party wasn't bad, but it could have been more lively! I saw people hold up the wall like there was a tornado outside...hahah. Toronto has one of the more stoosh crowds. Why? *thinking* I have no clue. That L.A. pretentiousness just crept over the border somehow! Putting that aside, I enjoyed the music the DJ played. I can remember how I went nuts when he played "Let Go" by Megan Rochelle. I must have lost my mind. People were staring like what just happened, haha, I didn't care.

I would rate it a 7 out of 10. Not the best night I've had but enough good tracks played to say it was worth the 5 bucks I paid!

I really have to get focused in the coming months. For some reason it has become a very difficult task for me to do. I have to put my mind to it. I hope to accomplish many things this year so hopefully, the drive comes to fruition.

Horoscope for Today: Dance like nobody is watching. I sure did! With summer fast approaching, it's time to get out more.

Happy Sunday!

Just Another One of Those Girl Groups?

So what ever happened to those girl groups that we used to love? What happened to groups like SWV, Jade, TLC, En Vogue, Salt 'n' Pepa, 702 and so many more? I miss those days when I used to be able to see a handful of groups making their mark on the industry. Now adays we have Destiny's Child and...who else?

SWV was the jam back in the day. Lele was my favorite and I used to be so upset that she was never given her shine! I was indifferent about Taj and I grew to like Coko later on. I always liked her [Coko] voice though. She could really belt. Now adays she has a gospel album and is not coming with the heat like she used to. They should have never broke up. I think it was a dispute among taj and coko, but does it really matter!

Jade was a shock! One moment I'm listening to their songs and the next moment I heard they broke up. It was so crazy how they just disappeared. They didn't even have a VH-1 story to boot! I never really had a favorite, because I barely could tell their voices apart. I do know that they stole a TLC move in "Don't walk away" and their "One Woman" song sounded like the Karyn White ballad "Super Woman". Despite all that, I still liked them for their look and songs.

TLC was the Top of TOP jammers! They had the dances, the music and the style. There has never been better female group in my eyes! LeftEye was my favorite then I moved to Tboz and lastly Chilli (Though I love them all). Chilli has been the hottest body, sultry voice and moves in ways that inspire. Can you tell I like the girl? hahah. "Ain't Too Proud 2 Beg" was an anthem, as was "Creep" and "No Scrubs". They had many other tracks that were under-rated like "Take our time" by Chilli, "Turntables" with Tboz & Chilli to name a few.

En Vogue, should have never broke up. I can only say that I was really disappointed with this group. They would have been legends by this time. They should have volumes of dvds sold with their platinum name on it!!! Disappointed? Yes. Then again I don't know the full story. Dawn Robinson was my favorite. I liked them all and they all had their moments.

Salt'n'Pepa never broke up so nothing here!

702 - They broke up then got back together. Their very last album was the best one. "Stringing me along" was my favorite track. Meelah had the voice. She is one of the first girls to bring the cute sound to music in a female group setting.

Total -Kima, Keisha & Kima, please come back!!!

My horoscope to you: Make good in whatever you chose to do. People will appreciate it.

Can We Stop "Dumbing Down" Music?

Happy Sunday people. Whether you're just coming back from church or on your way to church (again) or you were just chillin all day ... Happy Sunday to you! I have to say that I had an interesting night to say the least yesterday. I went out with one of my friends to a club (that I shall not name) and it was horrible. I mean, it was an 80's/90's party and they barely played any tracks from that era. I was so disappointed with the dj's. My friends and I agreed that they needed to go back to Dj school (wherever that is!). I even came decked out in 80's inspired attire! What a waste of my time and clothes. I could have used this outfit for something else...hahah. On top of everything, I found myself bored on the dance floor. How is that possible? You want to know how? - Dj's who play for themselves and not for the masses. There are guranteed hits andthese djs did not play them.

I am so upset with the whole idea that Toronto has to find it's identity. It's so tiring. Yesterday, I heard some rappers that sounded like they were straight out of ATL, but the grew up in the Mississauga burbs...What is up with that?!!! There is no doubt that Toronto needs a sound that is original. Not just original, but good. Hiphop in Toronto always sounds like underground early 90's rap (at best). Toronto rappers are caught in a time warp and need to get something to call their own. The dudes I heard last night were so generic - cookie cut. They actually made me feel smarter, by the lyrics they sang. There is a definite "dumbing down" of the culture through music, that I find very offensive. These rappers sounded very 'slow' and un-educated and I'm sure that they graduated high school (I think). Outsiders - those who don't understand the culture or care for it, may take these artifacts as truths. We need to advertise ourselves as educated beings. Not these corner slanging hoes and pimps.

It's bad enough that we need a musical revolution. It's even worse that Toronto is not even competing well with what is currently out there on the market. We don't have many R'n'B singers making it into the mainstream and when they do, they disappear. They move to the states and no one ever hears about them until they come to do a MUCH Music special or appear at the Junos. It's unfortunate. We grow, export and they sell it back to us! Isn't that what Canada is reknown for doing with everything produced here. I am Canadian and I know there is a better way. I just need someone to listen...

One day people ... One day...

Horoscope for today: Learn an instrument. It will teach you more than you think.

Always spread love.

Mr. & Mrs. Right and Mr. & Mrs. Wrong...Do You Know Them?

I'm not dead! I'm alive ya'll...hahah. I know I've disappointed some of you...I apologize. I have been keepin life together and movin'. Sun is shining and the weather is nice. I think I'll have to get into some good trouble today!

So I have been taking some time to do some introspective work and analyzing the choices made in the recent past - I think it's good to do that every so often. Sometimes the paths we make are not a matter of right or wrong but a matter of choice. Like, do I want to go out to the club tonight? or do I want to stay home and read a nice book? Obviously there are choices that are less trival then the one just mentioned; however the same ideology applies. This whole notion of right vs. wrong is the benefit and demise of our society. Would you not agree?

There is no dispute that killing another person is wrong; however if you place it in the context that this person has set out to maliciously harm you and your family, you are in the mist of a vicious struggle and the person dies at your hands...was it still wrong? What's funny is that there are always going to be "exceptions" to the rule. Why are there rules if they are going to be a accomodating for a few yet the masses must follow?

Right and wrong is all about control through guilt. If you do the wrong thing or make the wrong choice you repent because you feel guilty. If you do the right thing or make the right choice then you are in line with what society expects of you. Once again, I am not trying to say that this construct is bad or good.

I think sometimes when we use this whole notion of right vs. wrong as leverage, it becomes a serious problem. Where we believe that we are better than another person because we hold certain beliefs that are considered "right" by our standards.

Church plug: many people in certain churches do this even though they claim to not judge!

Using right and wrong to leverage is to create power differentials. It also works to measure the level of respect one group should be given vs. another.

Even people within the same group will use certain distinguishing features as reason to austricize a group (i.e. dark vs light complexion, religion, sexuality, gender,etc.). Some may feel cursed for having features that are looked down upon (the wrongs) versus the individuals who are born with desired features (the Rights).

Just a few things to think about...

Your Horoscope: Change is good...especially when it's your underwear. Start from within. Smile.

What Happened to Hot Tuesdays?!!!

This weekend was so beautiful! I am glad the weather is starting to show some sun and warmth on the charts. I had so much fun hanging out with my best friend and his aunt. Just a burst of energy and spiritual awareness. I love being in the company of people who open their minds, to the possibility of something more to what they are accustomed to.

So my "Slim'n'Eight" diet is going really well. I can already see the difference. If this keeps up I think I'm going to have to do one of those 'Billy Blank' videos and show people how it's done! I think I'll be ready to go on a vacation once this diet is done. You don't have to worry, I won't go binge like I used to! It's all about the balance. I may slip from time to time, but I'll always get back on track.

I briefly saw a caption on the TV today that said "Russell Simmons, vows to be more socially conscience in respect to Rap lyrics" . I must say that it's a start...no further comment.

So what happened to the days of Tuesday being the greatest day of the week. When artists would drop greatly anticipated albums and we would rush to have it first! I can't even remember the last sleepless night I had, thinking about a hot CD. Janet really let me down. That album hurt my feelings. Next time Janet...Next time. All I'll say to you Janet is, "Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis = HITS!". If you ever get a chance to listen to the album, listen to a track called "Take Care". The song helps to make me feel all is not lost (in respect to Janet's latest album!).

Horoscope: We are moving into Taurean stubborn energy. Love it because "We ain't movin'!".

So no picture today...I hope it doesn't throw people off...haha. I say that because I know it can. I thought I would just flow about things on my mind without the visualization.

Opt-Imus Prime vs. Decept-Icons...Who's Really Bad!

I know...It seems like I'm saying the same bit every time...apologizing for not keeping you in the "know", but from here on out, I am not going to make any promises I can't keep. It's been hectic around here and I can only say that I will do my best to keeping blogging and giving you your "fix" haha.

I've decided that I'm going to go on a serious 8 week diet/plan. The plan basically consists of me not eating a whole large pizza and guzzling a 2 litre bottle of Coke! Seriously. I am planning on reducing my carb and sugar intake. I need to look fly for the summer and that is not going to happen if I keep stretching my appetite the way I do. Trust me the way I eat is not flattering at all! So, I took a before picture and in 8 weeks I hope to take an after picture (just for myself of course). I'm just hoping to get myself back to the state where it felt good to walk around the house naked. I mean, right now...I'm trying to hide from myself because it's that bad...haha. Come June 18th, 2007, I'll be hot like fire!

So I just have to make my point in reference to this Imus vs. HipHop fiasco, because it is truly out of hand. I know that I could go on forever but I am going to summarize my points; keeping very concise. If you know me well, you know that I rarely do this. I dislike talking about topics overdone in the media...in any case here it goes:

1. Imus did not get that language from Caucasians/white people. We've been using that language on ourselves [black people] for a long time.

2. The whole Hip Hop culture is a product of how the black community is at odds with sexuality and identity. Proof is in the pudding. The fact that there is great unresolved pain and conflict is displayed in the media shows how we are unable to resolve this issue i.e. Black Church vs. Pimp glorification

3. Why is it that when someone (other than black) calls us a nigger we are offended but when we do it to each other its ok. There is an understanding about black people that results from this. Black people like to demean/degrade each other.

4. What he said was not anymore damaging then Howard Stern or David Chapelle saying the same thing. If he was headlined as a "Shock Jock" we would not be making noise.

5. It's just another excuse for Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson to get more undue shine!

So there you have it. The Top 5.

I have to admit that the jokes coming out about Imus looking like the crypt keeper are hilarious!

There are bigger issues at hand and I think that there are many possible solutions. I feel they all should be given a shot. There is no point in trying one thing and then moving unto the next...we don't have forever!

Horoscope for you today is : Don't judge too quickly or you will make decisions you will later regret. Take even just one second to think about whether that cake is worth eating. Damn I hate diets.

Good Night.

I Had A Crusty Tasteless Crumb...

Whew, I'm tired. Yeah not exactly how I wanted to start this blog, but hey it's the truth. I tell you that work has got me busy and when I come home all I want to do is sleep. Not the writing of a dude who likes to keep physically fit, huh? I tried to go to the gym today but my body was telling me otherwise. I wanted to workout my legs and chest but I guess I'll have to do that on the weekend or next week for that matter. There are a ton of birthdays coming up (including my own) and I don't know if I'll make them all. Tomorrow I'm going to a friend's house for a get together so no gym tomorrow. Hmmm... Saturday. Yes, Saturday I'll go!

Have you ever had someone in your life that just drains everyone they meet? I have one of those and this heffa just don't stop. She is embarassing, loud and annoying and she just does not know when to stop! What bothers me more is that she is grown and she acts like a child. I'm not going to call her out because there would be some real Drama. I want to keep the peace. She's like a crazy person you see on the subway that you just don't make eye contact with! Except she always finds time to make eye contact with you - psycho.

Her lethal death energy... She lofts around and never does anything productive. Her idea of being productive is putting people down. She is so steady chasing the people she hates that she never gets a thing done! She loves to talk about herself and always shares too much information. I'm telling you, she is a pest and even RAID spray wouldn't make her flinch!

I am so-so-so glad she is not "directly" in my life, but she still haunts my friends. I wish I could tell her to leave them alone, but it's complicated. Whats even more complicated is that if she knew that we had a "beef", it would pull her into my life...and I (as Hell) do not want that! Once again, I wish I could go into specific detail about this c-u-n-t and what she does, but like I said it would only make my life a living Hell!

I just had to get a crusty crumb off my shoulder. She knows who she is and sadly she pretends she loves the way she is. Woman, we know you are hurting. Don't project unto others.

In other news...

Well there really wasn't much news....

Let's just get into the horoscope...

Your Horoscope: If you meet a woman, like I described above, feel free to "tell her about herself" without tact and/or with...send the mixed signal...unless of course the situation is complicated. If complicated you can let me know what to do!

Were You a Spelling Bee or Just Buzzin'? It's Not Too Late!!!

I'm sorry...So sorry, I made you wait! It's been crazy in my life, since I last blogged. To those who think it had something to do with Facebook...All I'll say is...Maybe...Hahah. "Crackbook" fo real!!! Seriously, I have missed you. Truthfully, I have been crazy busy working and going to school.

It's April (my birthday month) and I usually like the weather that comes with it, but it has been cold! I can't wait to get my shorts and tees on...you know, "flossin'" like I do (heheh). I remember one of my friends had the nerve to say that I had chicken legs. I almost broke his ass! It was enough to make me stop wearing shorts for a long time - years. Now, I hit the gym and work my legs, so they'll be ready for the "Summer Bunnies". You remember that track by R. Kelly, don't you? I never really got into it, but it was a hot track on the 12 play album. What an album! That was pre-charges, pre-in-the-closet. I am not even going to say "Poor Kelly" because people warned him from time. We all remember his marriage to Aaliyah. Uh huh.

So today, I finished another semester in my French program. I am so proud because I am that much closer to becoming bilingual. Once that is official, I wouldn't mind learning Spanish. It's good to keep learning in general. It's sad to hear people sound illiterate or very uneducated, especially when they were born and raised here. It just does not sound right. I am not talking about the occasional slang - to sound cute! I am talking about those people who think they are talking properly and are really screwing it up. They are the one who love to make up words and swear they read it in a scholarly journal.

And I quote:

"He done tried to mayonize the sandwich and I said I didn't want it"

"I was trying to happify you"

" I had heard dat dere was some awardments on my account"

If you hear anyone one (you know or don't know but are around them) say anything similar to the above statements...please...please, act as a thesaurus and help them out. No need for a full blown embarrassing reaction. Just simply state "You mean..." and if they retort "No! I meant...". You drop the bomb on them - " That is not a word!".

Just something on my mind. Education is important to me and if you feel you need it, there are places for you to go to get the help you need. I'm not trying to be condescending in anyway. So I hope some people do not take this the wrong way. Then again if your reading this, you really are not the one I'm concerned about.

Horoscope from 03/22/07 - 04/11/2007: Live life like your dreams and don't let someone wake you up. you are your shining star.

Black 'Faux' Hawk Down...Watch Out For 'These'

I had great day today!!! French exam went very well. It was worth 40%, so I had great reason to be concerned. I think I told you that last week, I had taken the week off and had a vacation. The vacation wasn't bad and the time off was very much needed. I just needed to clear my head and get some focus. I also just needed to relax.

At the end of the week, I decided that I needed to get a haircut. Now as a black man there are very few places you can go to get a unique hairstyle. Trust me I looked. Most places do braids, fades or a nice shaped mini-fro. Even a good barber for designs seems impossible, in the city that has almost everything. I wanted a barber to give me a Faux-Hawk. I've been through this once before. I first looked up all the black-barbers I knew in the city. No luck.

When I remember how it went down the first time. hahah...what a mess. I ended up finding one, but he never listened to what I really wanted and kinda did his own thing most of the time. I was the one who was causing the controversy in the barbershop, because I had to be different.

This time, I was looking for the person who was going to listen. It didn't matter whether they were a black-barber or not.

Note: I want to clarify at this present time that when I say black-barber I don't necessarily mean a black person. I just mean person who is familiar with Afro-centric hair. I don't want some of you getting this twisted and saying "Oh he a racist...He only goes to 'black' barbers". back to the story...

I know some of you are going to be like "you are so late in the style" but relax, I had it before. I found one guy who was able to do it and it looked 'avant garde'. There is no other way to put it (smile). That was Friday...

I returned to civilisation on the Monday of this week and was a little shocked. From left to right people are asking me: "Why did you do that?" and/or "Why don't you get braids or a fade?". Why have I been getting shade thrown my way? It felt like the comments were hiding under a thin veil of why don't you look 'black'? whatever that means. Actually I do know what it means...going back to the cornrows or the fade...as per one colleague...Uggh

The comments are coming from various cultures but the energy put into the comments feels the same. I think what also helps to create an elevated reaction is that, in order to get the true effect, I do straighten and flat-iron my hair. That really throws people off! I know that if someone with a more thinner texture of hair were to rock it, people would not even say a word. When the 'brother' tries, people are up in arms. They want to ask but hesitate if they don't know me and those that do know me are like: "so where are the curls" or "I like the curls". Once again these comments are thinly veiled.

I'm not trying to say that 'these' individuals are trying to be malicious with their comments; however I think 'these' people are very comfortable in their ways and in what they see and when they see something different then they freak. Spirit killers. I also want to acknowledge that there are lots of individuals that have come to me stating that they love what I did to my hair and love the colour.

I just wanted to get what I was feeling out. If you disagree or agree with the concept let me know. I think that I am a person who likes to push the envelope; make people rethink the lines that define the norms in society. This is all done of course, in my own unconventional way.

Your Horoscope Today: Happiness is just as easy as being in the bathroom without someone rushing you out. Go in 15 minutes earlier.

Have a good night.

His Sstory Lays It Down...

Today was a very tiring day. The first day back seems to always be that way. I wish I could just take a month vacation at a time. I know we all wish we could.

I had to take a moment to answer some of the comments that were left on my blog entries. I thank you for sharing your perspective and encourage you to do so whenever you can. If there is anything that you feel would be of interest to the readers that I may have not touched upon, please let me know via the post on the leftside of my blog.

Thank you for stopping by and reading. It is truly my pleasure.

My Horocope to you: Facebook is nuts and you keep getting hit up by people from your past. Make sure you put your hottest picture up, enjoy and revel.

Good night:)

Blind-Faith Follower...No...Believe In An Educated Spirit...It Will Not Let You Down

Hey people, I was on vacation. I didn't go anywhere. I did alot of shopping! I had to get me some new clothes...you really can't have enough. Without further a due, I bring to you my 'church' blog. I will try to keep away from writing blogs about this, because it's like the never ending story...read on and enjoy.

The article was written for March 4th 2007 in the Toronto Star. What a nervous day it must have been for the Melnichuk family. Pastor Paul Melnichuk and his twin sons Tim and Tom are the leading men of a congregation known as Prayer Palace. These men have been known to take the churches money and not do their share of charity work. They have been known to take helicopters to family reunions, have estates not houses and numerous expensive cars. What adds even more salt to the wound, is that, these men have claimed to lead modest lives to their followers. The congregation which is made up of mostly black individuals, work hard for their money and (for the most part) do not enjoy the lavish life these men lead. All-in-all the article depicts these men to represent the capitalist-preacher; men who seek to gain more than they give.

I don't want to go into detail as to what the article stated (I mean you could do that yourself). What I will say is...this article should stand as an eye-opener to blind believers. The 10% that you give in tithing...do you know where it is going? Have you seen the fruits of your investments. A person with blind faith will follow without questioning. We were not born zombies, we have the cognizant ability to question and analyze our world. Never forget that.

It's funny because these men are like Cre flo Dollar. They have the golden gates on their estates like Cre flo. I don't even want to get into how their messages are very manipulating and how they are constantly working their PR. i.e. Whenever someone questions their riches, they respond with, "THE DEVIL IS TRYING TO KEEP US DOWN!". The devil being the person who questions them. It's like...I mean it is a cult.

I have to say that even when I went to a service in Toronto, that is very popular with Toronto's black youth, the pastor was preaching money. I found that he was preaching prosperity (which was good); however making people feel guilty if they take. They should only give.

At one point in the session, he showed a commercial for a limo sine company that apparently is the company that gives him free rides to and from church. I found that very tacky. If he is going to advertise he should do it at the end. He should also give equal opportunity to all the church goers to advertise their business. It was a cheesy plug.

If you missed the article about Prayer Palace here it is - Click here.

BET if you could please do me a favor and stop showing Peter Popoff, with his miracle water. I am hurting every time I think that some desperate person is calling for some miracle water.

I hope that one day I don't have to write these kind of blogs. people wise up and do your research. Don't let someone lead you if you don't know where they are taking you. I am dead serious people. We are being made a mockery of when we fall to these false idols and prophets. Trust your educated spirit/heart; a spirit/heart that is basing it's decisions from research, reason, logic, honesty and love.

Happy Spring:)

My Horoscope to you: Trust your systems - All systems.

Hip Hop is Gay...Well There is Definitely an Uncomfortableness With One's Manhood

So look who is back in the news... Terrence Howard. Without further a due, please read the following comment and let me know what you are thinking:

"Do I agree with homosexuality? No, I'm a bible based young man. But I know the bible also speaks about homosexuality with liars, adulterers, thieves. I've lied, I've cheated on my wife, I've stolen, so how can I judge somebody for something that's mentioned in the exact same scripture? I believe we're all sinners. We're all trying to make it but our hip hop community are a bunch of hypocrites right now." -source-

To put this comment in context...He gave this answer after being asked if he could ever invision a gay rapper. He stated no, but was unaware that there already are some. Maybe he meant on an international level - even then ...there are some!

I'm glad that somebody is finally saying something about it in the black community. This is one of those topics that is so hard for [black/colour] people to discuss. The more we suppress the bigger the problem (and there has been a lot of suppression). Especially in Hip Hop.

Hip Hop represents the hyper-masculinated, unemotional, "strong man"- who doesn't exist. It is a fictional character that many black men have aspirations of being. It's not just men who admire this archetype, women love it just a much. A super-hero of a boyfriend if you will, that is the head of the household.

People this is not realistic.

I think it represents a man who is still forming his own sexuality and perception of what it means to be a man. There is an uncomfortableness in ones own skin if you will. A struggle. Never really where they want to be, but hopes for a better day. If not represents, at least caters to this type of person. In more recent years, there is definitely a dysfunction in it.

Homophobia is a combination of the black church influences and a black man's perception that homosexuality compromises his masculinity and ability. The fear that it's existence can create temptation the same way that lies and adultery do. I mean it is written in the same scripture. Why are you afraid of being turned on if your not a homosexual? This may come across like algebra to the "unlearned" population. What I do ask of you [unlearned population] is why do you not questions the things that you reject to find out why you reject them in the first place.

I also realized that in Terrence's statement he addressed what has been common (mis)understanding of homosexuality. The idea that it is a sin like lying or cheating. A statement that has forced many to live in shame. Have you ever played telephone? what happens to the message when it gets to you? I rest my case. Only God/universe knows the original message. It's your business to trust some one's anointing; however please be aware of false prophets. I think someone who claims to be anointed speaks with great arrogance and those that just speak have a better chance of getting my ear.

On a similar note...I'm not sure if you caught the article written by the Toronto Star about "Prayer Palace" but I will be doing a message on that this week.

Your horoscope today: The sun is shining, let it be daytime in you heart, mind and soul. Smile.

Queen of Mean Says, ... "Takes it Like a Man"...

Why was I dying yesterday, when my friend showed me clips from this comedian! She is amazing. I wish I could only explain it to you in a way that would pay hommage to her, but only she can tell her jokes the way she does. I must warn you....She talks up race and sex like its a peanut butter & jelly sandwich - like it's nothing new! It's her delivery that make it extrordinary. She gets away with saying the things she does because she really does not mean any offense in it. She just likes to point out the stereotypes that we define ourselves and others by.

I like her. It's very simple.

If you ever get a chance please check her out.

My horoscope to you: Take a walk on the wildside. Do something that you may have been to prudish to do. You are more liberal than you put off. Trust me you will thank yourself.

1st Day of Spring, Boy I feel Brand New!

So it's March...a great month for so many reasons. Can I tell you... I have so many reasons to be thankful. For one: two years ago I had a life changing event that allowed me to become who I am today. An event so powerful, it allowed me to mature into myself and really see what I was all about. It all happened on March 1st of 2005.

I think that for many of us, we face a challenge in life that forces us to make tough choices. Depending on how we handle the situation, can make or break our near future. Sometimes expected, while other times unexpected; all in all for the better (if you think postive). It truly is better that way. Challenge that is... I mean you really don't know what your capable of until you "rise" to the challenge (as the cliche goes).

Making it on my own, may have been heaven sent. The thing that I really needed to feel motivated. Since that day I can say I have been motivated. I can now dream without the fear of them being crushed. Speak without the fear of being shunned. Speak. It's crazy thinking about how I used to live, before that special March 1st 2005.

For the most part, I like to think forward to the project ahead, while other times I like to reflect and think of all the people that helped me survive. The funny thing is that friends will be there for you when you really need them, which is contarary to a belief my sister and her husband hold. I do ask them now...If you say friends are never there for you, when you need them most, then what would that make you when you weren't there for me? ...

Lesson#...You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends.

The one thing I wish those in my past would see is: love is defeated when it can not remain unconditional; at least in my opinon.

There really is no point in saying you care for someone or love someone if you have a list of restrictions/reservations for how that love can manifest. I think love transcends belief, religion, politics, race, sex(uality) and orientation, etc. Whether God fearing or not.

Random words...

Tired, weak, I was shunned.

Could not speak unless told,

I was the slient one.

Work so hard all day,

To come home and tuck away.

Straight & Narrow,

The way you like,

It just ain't me,

Retreat to the place I knew best,

Thoughts and whispers,

Confirm I was more not less.

You said lies,

You thought were true.

I am me,

Yet I defy you.

Truth be told

Truth be lived

Truth be love

because that is all I know.

-His Sstory-

J.ennifer H.udson Triple Threat

She is so fortunate. I just can not believe that she won the Globe, SAG and OSCAR. This is his sstory in the making. I am so happy for someone that I don't really know and they don't know me...but isn't that Hollywood? I just had to get that out.

Busy Sunday for me...feeling tired and hoping for a bright new day. You can catch me in the new [day].

Your Horoscope for Today: You are loved and you just don't feel it. It's because you need to connect the adapter. Love yourself and all things will feed through that connection. Happy Academy Night;)

"Stuck in the City"...Is Nothing Like "Sex in the City"

So here I am stuck in Toronto, while my good friends are in D.C. I mean I could have gone, but I didn't want to over do it this year in respect to my yearly budget. I want to make sure that this year I save more then I spend - definitely a challenge. While they are down there they will be visiting NYC, which is my krytonite. My wallet starts to flash different colours when I get close. In Manhattan, all hell breaks loose and I find myself charging and debiting my account at the same time...lol.

I will be taking a vacation in March, but I haven't decided on going anywhere particular. Paradise would be nice. Every time I listen to Howard Hewitt's [ex-Shalamar member] "Show Me", I imagine that I am in paradise, surrounded by white sands and crystal blue beaches. I've never been down south to a tropical island. Definitely a destination, I plan to arrive at sometime soon.

My Horoscope to you: You will go through some old photos and think where did I go. Make an effort to get a part of that person back (i.e. mentally, physically, spiritually). Travel & Explore - knowledge awaits you. Happy Saturday.

A little R(ant) & R(ave)...

OK OK...they really got to do something about the subway system here in Toronto. It's not 'cutting' it, when they only have 3 subway lines available for inner city travel!!!

Here's how the story (typically) goes...

Everyday after 5pm the masses rush into the subway stations along Yonge street. Standing right at the edge, you feel the breeze of the oncoming train. A little nervous you take a step back and watch the faces through the glass doors that suddenly part. You try to get into the subway car gracefully, but efforts quickly diminish when you feel the push of others from behind. You sarcastically apologize to those around you and search for something in sight to hold on to. In a fixed position, each second feels like a minute and every minute feels like an hour. "Just one more stop" you pray and plead at the same time! Then finally you get to your station and your safe until its time to go back...

It can get uncomfortably close. It's like "how was your day?" and your noses brushes against another traveler or "sorry" after you've moved your hand and it has caressed a stranger's ass in the process. I guess it's the only way you can ride the TTC at these times. Sometimes, I just pray that the person in front of me has satisfactory - good breath! If that wasn't enough! You have the train conductor going nuts because you are leaning on the door. As everyone looks at you standing against the door, you put on your: I'm-telling-you-it's-not-me face - in hopes to divert the attention away; rarely successful.

I think we need the Olympics to build the type of infrastructure they have in NYC or London. If not that then something. I mean, something has got to give, because I can not take lunging into a subway car just to get home at a reasonable time.

OK so that is my rant for today...sigh*

My Horoscope to you: You will come to an epiphany that you used to club at epiphany and now wonder where did the years go. Note: If you didn't have the revelation previously noted you are doing well, so keep it moving.

Hey Ya'll. If you know me ... you know I loove me some TLC. Chilli 's "Straight Jack" recently leaked and I have to admit that it sounds like Kelis meets PCD. I'm not sure if Polow da don was really capturing her in that track. I heard that the track was old, so hopefully it won't be released. Chillifan.com has it so check it out.

I've been crazy busy ya'll just getting everything in order for school and work, so I'mma keep this short.

My Horoscope to You: Drink more water...does a body good.

Quince-Essential

If you ever come to Toronto, Canada and want to have a great dinner with an amazing ambiance, then you must go to Quince. I had such a great time there that I had to write them a letter. This is rare of me! Please read what I had to say:


" To Jennifer & Michael:

Quince is an elegant blend of various cultures around the world. Your restaurant has much to offer to its patrons. From the great décor that provides an intimate ambiance, to the wonderful dishes brilliantly developed. I had the privilege of hosting a birthday party and the service was impeccable.

My best friend celebrated his 29th birthday on 02/17/07 at your restaurant and you made it a night to remember. From the planning phase of the event, you were very welcoming & accommodating; which is a change from other restaurants I’ve been to. A guest list of 14 soon turned into 17 and it wasn’t a problem. For the guests attending (including myself), this would the first time that we would be having the “Quince” experience. The private party area was setup appropriately with: a TV, music system and a nice bench layered with pillows. All of these features were made for a unique experience; a definite plus.

The food was great. The flat iron steak w/ frites is an excellent dish. The Dutch poutine is also a great appetizer. I heard from the other guests that they enjoyed their dishes as well. From the Capunti w/ Parmesan shavings to the bacon-wrapped quail, everyone really enjoyed their meals.

The service was great. Your servers Pedro and Emily were really polite and personable. Usually you find that the owner/s is caught up in administrative functions; but at Quince you showed us a different type of owner. Jennifer, as the one of the owners, you were really involved and made sure that this was a great experience. We will definitely be repeat customers and from what I have heard from our guests, they also will be having their engagements there.

Thank you for many things: A positive atmosphere, personable service and great food. "

Please visit Quince Restaurant Toronto @ 2110 Yonge Street, Toronto, Ontario M48 2A5.

I had to write this letter because usually when you hold an event at a restaurant, they bombard you with a ton of restrictions. Quince was very accommodating. I mean I got to play all my favorite jams while I ate! I felt at home and the food was great. For those who are wondering, there is no compensation for the plug! This is a sincere testimonial. Happy Sunday.

My 'Horoscoping' to you: Eat well, drink well and make sure you thank the server. S/he is bringing you your food, which could determine your fate at the end of the night.

Hardaway To Learn

I really don't like to talk about popular news, but I gotta say something on this hot mess! Does the world really think that celebrities and athletes love everyone and are understanding of all differences. Celebrities and Athletes are human like the rest of us. Why are we sooo surprised to hear that this boy [Tim Hardaway] is slandering the gay population? I spent a whole summer in Atlanta where the minister at the church was preaching hate. I know some of you will come for me, but i'm going to say it! The black church in the U.S. has not been tolerable of homosexuality. I would even go as far to say that the black church has not addressed sexuality in a healthy manner. BET struggles with it everyday. One second they're saying "wrap it up", then in the next minute playing Nelly's "Tip-Drill". That is another story all together...heheh.

I think this gentleman is expressing all the teachings that surround him. His family and friends buffer the way of thought and so why would he question it. It's not until they see how much of a backlash the media gives that they start to say the "right" things. Nobody is telling this boy to sleep with dudes and yet he is hyper-ventilating. Can someone please hold his hand and tell him it will be ok?

It's unfortunate that people hold such archaic thoughts of gays and lesbians. The funny thing is black people should be the first to understand how it feels to be oppressed and yet they jump to the opportunity to do it to someone else. Bigots will tell you that there is a difference between racism and prejudice, but they all are rooted in ignorance and fear.

I'm not saying that every black church is the same; however there is a prominent thought that is held within the community that speaks against it.

Did he not learn anything from Isaiah Washington scandal? He probably wouldn't even know what I was talking about, if I asked him.

My Horoscope to you: You will take the time today to lie down and wonder. In the process of all this wonder, don't pick your nose...Someone will be watching.

Cupid Doesn't Lie...But You Won't Know Until You Give It A Try

So the storm wasn't that bad and I found myself at work aaaand school! Oh well, it's better that way. I don't like going into class to ask strangers for a copy of their work. I don't know if it's a pride thing or what, but it just doesn't sit right. Maybe, it's because I don't see myself that generous with others when it comes to stuff like this. I'd probably put on my I'm-the-one-who-sat-in-class-for-3hrs-and-took-all-these-good-darn-notes-and-you-want-some-of-it face on! Well maybe not that bad...but there would be "A" face...he he

So today is Valentine's day and I couldn't help but notice many couples out and about. For some ladies (and men), this is the only time they get to go out with their "hubby". Tomorrow it's back to the basics. A return to the relationship norms. Today is an anomaly of a day in the year (if you will). I say this because, only on today do we make such exaggerated efforts to be as poetic and "luvy duvvy"; do things we should express on a daily basis. I am not "hating" on the day, but I think a lot of people do things because they feel they have to and not because they want to. There is a huge difference (for those that don't know). Enjoy the day for what is it...another day...Life is reason enough. <---was that too deep? It should be...

Your horoscope from me: Revenge is a bitch! So today make sure you do it right the first time;)

Thoughts For You In A Day.

A winter storm is due to hit the Toronto area...hoooray. As much as I love going to work and school (choke)...I think a smile will come upon my face if I have to skip one of the two. I don't think Toronto has been hit with a storm this winter, so we are due for some R&R. I wish I could say I was going to a hot place instead (like some of my friends) but unfortunately I can't. Trinidad or Puerto Vallerta anyone?

On my way home I popped into HMV and the Amy Winehouse CD was only $7.99! What a steal deal! She'll also be at the Mod club , so you can bet that I will be there. I can't wait! The album is really good. I haven't got through the whole album but I'm just waiting for her to get nuts on a track. I love when Christina Aguilera does it. you know like she did at the Grammys. What a hot redition of "A Man's World".

I wish I could just travel the world and educate myself. Sometimes I look at people who seemingly have infinite wealth and wonder why they never really use their money to extend beyond their front yard! In the past you could say "If I had a million dollars", but now you need a lot more than that to really do it up in style...he he.

My horoscope for you today: You will take a moment to think, only to realize that life is more like playdoh than you thought. Knowledge gives you power beyond belief. Weary of your new found knowledge, you choose to not play with the playdoh as carelessly as you once did. Ignorance is bliss isn't it...sometimes.

These Dreams Come To Me, When I Close My Eyes...

Sorry, I've been so "lax" with the blog lately...not on purpose...let me explain. I have been trying to focus on work and also keep on top of school work. I apologize for those that missed catching a good joke...or just had to read something mediocre for the last few days...hehe.

I guess everybody is still talking about The Grammys, Anna Nicole's death and the crazy astronaut-mess...but I'll think I'll pass on that for now. I'm still not ready to talk about Cre Flo Dollar either! You have to be in the mood to delve into that stuff. To tell you the truth I'm too tired to type all that out... I gotta start right in the morning with that stuff.

i.e. As soon as Bobby Jones Gospel is finished, blog!

A few days ago I had this weird dream that I was waiting to get into this secret community center to play b-ball. When I finished a game with a few of my friends, I found myself out on the streets of NYC. There was so much turmoil and shooting everywhere. I ended up in a school that was virtually taken hostage and I remember either getting shot or shooting someone. It was one of the weirdest dreams of 2007. What do you make of it? I like to think that I'm a peaceful non-voilent individual. That just set me off for the rest of Sunday.

Have you ever had reoccurring dreams? I remember as a child, I had this reoccurring dream that I was looking for my mother. In every dream I would go to familiar places to ask unfamiliar people, if they knew who and where my mom was. I can't express the anxiety it would cause me as a child. I would wake up only to check and see, if my mother was still there. Why my mother and not my father? Well as a kid I was used to being around my mother a lot before entering elementary. It's funny that I still remember these dreams.

I have to say that Saturday was rocky for me because Friday night I had dream after dream...after dream. It wears a person down after a while. Even though you sleep for 12hrs, you can't seem to get any true rest because you're always in action or movement in your dreams. I would have to say that is the only time, I dislike dreaming.

I have to unload and unwind tonight, so I can have minimal disruption tonight..."These dreams come to me when I close my eyes"...

It's Too Good To Be True...

Thursday always seems to find a way of draining the hell out of me! I just can't seem to get anything done. It's all because I'm anticipating the weekend, so it just makes everything that much more tedious. How I do looove the weekend...whoa!!! Today I was going to talk about Cre Flo Dollar... you know... the minister with the golden gates at his crib, while his followers scrape for tithe...yea him...but I thought I would give the "Religious debate" a rest for a minute and talk about what's on my mind right now.

It all started when...
I was looking at a picture of Terrence Howard and thought to myself:
Here is an attractive, charismatic gentleman, with charm and some sense of class.
The majority of these thoughts came to mind not because of what he's accomplished or said in his interviews but solely on his looks. He 'appears' to be this type of man because he is good looking and does not offend; isn't cocky. I guess the Halo-effect got me.

Why is it that good-looking people seem like they get away with basically anything? Is it a stereotype or is there some truth to this? The more I think about what some good looking people I know get away with...whoo...the more it gets so tired.

First of all:

• You find yourself comparing yourself to them every so often. Looking for moments where they may not look as good as you thought or times that you may out-shine them. How horrible...but it's true.

and...

• If your one of the unlucky people that has to be around a lot of beautiful people, you find yourself welcoming the presence of an ugly person to make yourself feel good...ha ha

OK ... well maybe we're all not like this but in your private moments, I'm sure you do go through something similar to this. If your still saying "No", I think your lying to yourself.

The worst is if it involves your siblings and you just happen to be the not -so attractive one - Ouch! Yea, that's not the greatest feeling. Your family and friends comparing you, telling you ways to improve yourself - not good. I used to get a bit of that growing up. I think that I held it down pretty good. I was real cute as a kid and I think that's why my brothers (one in particular) used to tease me a lot. As a kid, I remember being attractive helped you get over your shyness. I never really had to talk to anyone; they all came to you. I guess if your someone who really doesn't want to believe the attention your getting is-for-what-it-is, then you may remain shy.

The advantages don't just end there! Being attractive means that you also have the pick of the lot. Never scrounging for a date. You come across as more believable person in court (read your sociology books for this one). There is a lot going on for the good looking.

I know this entry may come across as being shallow...but I don't think so. I never said that this was the most important thing, or that I don't talk to people who are not good looking. I never even defined what is "good looking" or "Ugly". I understand that the perceptions of this vary from person to person. Generally there could be a broad spectrum created to make certain features inherent amongst most good looking people; however even the order of these features are up for debate. It also means that those that are fortunate to recognize their own beauty or develop a charismatic personality get more out of their vanity. I don't think that I should shy away from talking about attraction/looks, as so many of us are afraid to do. The media does it all the time. We complain about how we are disappointed with images put out by the media, but many of us are willing to buy the products to fit the mold. That's an oxymoron? We hate walking that thin line, when it comes to anything. Just live...in this case keep groomed;)

Puttin On The Jazmine To Season Life

This girl is-the-jam! I love her voice. All I can say is go to YouTube and find any clips you can. She has one impressive clip that takes place at the Apollo when she was 12. The performance simply blew the audience away. Her voice is mature, raspy and heart-felt.

Though she has been around for years, she has not been able to plant herself firmly with a record company that knows how to market her well. Currently at the age of 19, she performs at various outlets. She has a live performance of Christina Milian's "Say I" and she kills it. I guess she would since it's her song! I hope that she gets a record out soon. I want the world to know what I'm talking about.

Message to Jazmine: I'm "lovin you", how do I "Make You stay"? Just don't "Break my little heart"...

hehe...you get the point.

7th Grader is a Pedophile? Help Me Figure This Out

So this 12 years old boy (ahem) named "Casey Price" was doing pretty good in school until the authorities came around and messed up his flow...I'm joking. This guy is a capital "P". He is actually 29 and was trying to pass as a 7th grader in a school near Phoenix. If it wasn't messed up enough, he had conned two men into believing he was 12 and lived with them in their trailer. He also lived with his "cousin" who was also a capital "P". The four men have been charged and place on 1 million dollar bond.

This is a pretty sick case if you ask me. I mean it's bad enough that you have a fetish for children, but why do you have to go and put makeup on and dress like a child. The saddest part is someone's child actually had sex with this fool thinking he was 12. He had kiddie porn tapes and other pedophilia located at the trailer (quel surprise). What the hell is going on here???

What more can I say? I'm not sure if I should laugh or sigh! I need to lay down...

I May Have Bad Credit, But I Am NOT A Thief

People...I am here and fighting this sickness. I hate being sick ya'll! I've been confined to my bed for too long, so I thought I'd reach out.

I was doing a little reading (like I usually do) and came across an article titled "Credit Checks: A Civil Rights Issue?". The article discussed a case where a female of colour was denied employment at Harvard because she had bad credit. In reaction to that she filed a complaint w/ her lawyer. It is their belief that this is a clear case of racial discrimination. Now before you go throwing your hands up in the air because you think she pulled the race card, read this:

• Studies indicate that minorities are more likely to have bad credit, but credit problems have not been shown to negatively affect job performance.


• In 2004 a study involving 2 million people, Texas department of insurance said blacks had an average credit score roughly 10% to 35% worse than whites; Hispanics scored 5% to 25% worse than white.


• Credit checks are a growing factor in hiring; 35% of employers checking credit histories ( a 19% increase from 1996) -SHRM

I think that it is important that employers take these facts into consideration. I understand that an employer may reserve the right, when someone is employed to handle money; however it seems like a credit check is the wrong type of background check. Shouldn't they do a criminal background check? There has been no studies linking poor credit to theft.

Unfortunately these are the types of struggles that continually create an economic divide. If denied for a job for poor credit, the applicant should at least have the opportunity to appeal.

I know that these statistics reflect American studies, but I feel that Canadians go through a similar feat. I know that with those student loans your debt ratio increases and they [loans] seem almost impossible to get rid of.

Universities are business. I came to this realization after they took all my money and some! I kept thinking that they wanted the best for me...so naive. They were thrilled if you failed a course; more money in their pocket. Never ending school...they loved it. Someone should have told me I needed a PhD to get anywhere with my degree. I would have went straight to college and became my own boss. I would have put that $40,000.00 somewhere else. I also blame the parents. They believe all the hype. "You must go to university!". It's all so they can say that my son/daughter is a graduate of something. All that debt to feel like a graduate? A somebody? Think about it. When the degree is attained and the piece of paper worth $40,000 is in hand, why is it so hard to find a good-paying job? As a result we can't pay the loans or the debt. The loan then becomes the least important on our list of bills to pay; all the while affecting our credit score.

I think the hardest thing about credit is that growing up the importance of good credit is not learned until it's too late. So many of us are victimized by parents that take our good credit and trash it or are lured into signing agreements that promise "perks". In my high school, there was one class on financial planning. It was a very good class, but I think that there should have been more units integrated on all levels of schooling.

Lesson: It is important to pay your bills first, then go buy that hot new piece Club Monaco has on sale!

For all of us (unless you are just born into an infinite supply of wealth), we need to be taught how to manage our money. I mean, you can always pay someone else to do it for you, but they could be scamming you too--Toni Braxton...need I say more.

So Sick...

Hey Everyone,

Sorry about being away the last two days, but I've caught the cold/fever thing thats been going around. I hope to be posting again tomorrow. Sorry bout leaving you hangin' . I'll make it up to you soon.

-His Sstory-

Have You Heard The New GAP Song, "Shake It Up"

So another one bites the dust! Cynthia Harriss, president of Gap North America has resigned. The former president of Disneyland Resorts, first became president of Gap's Outlet division in 2004 and then went on to became president of Gap North America in spring of 2005.

She resigned effective immediately! You know what that means. They told her to get the hell out!

Sounds like there is trouble in paradise...lol I hope that the shoes are filled with somone with bigger brand ideas. The person who will be filling her shoes is Marka Hansen (a 20 year veteran). Hansen comes from the Banana line, so I hope they finally get their shine!

Where are the innovators?...Gap...Where are the innovators?

Let's hope this shake up brings a better wardrobe!!!

Happy Friday Night.

It Sure Looking Better On The Other Side!

Happy Black History Month. I think images like this remind us that we can not tolerate prejudice, bigotry or any "ism" that causes a divide. The design of the water fountain is killing me - purposely making one to look inferior to the other. Would I have made it through back then?...Not so sure. I wouldn't necessarily call myself a rebel...but I was never one to just sit aside either.

So what does this month mean for you? Regardless of your race, I think on some level everyone can identity with a time or place where they were not treated fairly. Recognizing that fair and just treatment of individuals is necessary to spread peace, is the most important concept to keep in mind.

I am thankful for all the fallen scholars/soldiers who fought to change the thinking of the black archetype. I hope that my efforts in life serve to make you proud.

Now if we could get the word out that Africa is not a city, not a country, but a continent w/ many different cultures.... We'll be good.

(Yes, I am attacking the "I AM AFRICAN" ads).

Latrelle...When You Coming Back?!!!

I miss this girl...Latrelle is one of the lost ones. If ya'll remember House party, check out the video at the bottom of the screen. She also had songs like "My Life", "Infatuated" and "Deal With The Pain". She recorded the album in 2002; however the deal fell through and no album was released. All we have are unreleased tracks that are floating through the internet. I went to Latrelle's (aka Munchie) myspace and she is apparently working on new material. I really hope that you shine. You definitely make music that adds to the soundtrack of my life.

Every so often, I'll take a look at people that deserve some shine.

Coat-tails Is What You Ridin'?!!!

Ok...Will this girl ever give it up. Face it Latoya, the stardom thing just ain't working for you. You have been ridin the coat-tails of the Jackson name for way too long. Janet Jackson (minus JD) is the only one who is still "Made" in my books (can I get an amen?). It's really sad when I see her trying so hard. It's kinda depressing. Her new show " Armed and Famous"...Ummm I get the armed part. Girl, can we talk for a minute?...You ain't good.

I think that we will have people riding coat-tails for a very long time. Solange to Beyonce, Ashley Simpson to Jessica Simpson ... there will be that sibling that can not be sitting aside, while there's fame to be had. Hey... I'm sure I'd be the same way! One case that doesn't seem to play out the same way is Omarion and Marques Houston.

Omarion is not the greatest singer; however he can still score a hit. Marques Houston leaves me confused. Has he even had a number one hit? Even in his immature days, I'd be surprised if he was even in the top 10 for billboard! I think Marques could take a lesson from his bro, who came out way later and has a brighter star.

Let me know if you disagree... but you better back it up!